


Pick Up Lines

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Series: Collaborations, Prompts and Requests [17]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is an adorable flustered mess, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Fluff, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 09:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1464379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus and Jace seem set on making Alec as embarrassed as possible via cheesy pick-up lines.<br/>Alec is not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheShhTiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShhTiger/gifts).



> Prompt: I want a fanfiction in which Jace and Magnus try pickup lines on Alec  
> I have no excuses for myself ;-;

“Hey, Alexander?” Magnus purred, leaning down to brush his lips against his lover’s ear.

“Hmm?”

The Warlock smirked, tracing his fingers up and down the blue-eyed male’s sides. “When I’m around you I can’t think straight.”

“Mm. That’s nice, Magnus.” Alec replied distractedly, eyes devouring the text in front of him as he relaxed back against Magnus’ chest, not noticing the pout that his lover sent him.

Jace snickered softly, sending the Warlock an amused grin from his place on the floor. His hands moved absently over the other Shadowhunter’s legs, tracing small designs on his calves. “Really, Sparkles?” The blonde mocked, smirking slightly. “I would think you could do better than that.”

Magnus huffed. “Oh? And what would you say?”

“Hmm...” Jace tilted his head to the side. “Tu dois être fatiguée... parce que tu as trotté dans ma tête toute la journée.” _You must be tired... because you’ve been running through my head all day._

“Is that how you get dates?” The Warlock inquired teasingly, raising an eyebrow. “Talk in a different language and assume the poor soul you’ve set your sights on is smitten by your knowledge?”

“If you think you can do better than by all means,” Jace gestured lazily. “Give me what you’ve got.”

Magnus smirked, tightening his arms around the oblivious Shadowhunter in his arms who seemed to be too absorbed in the book in his hands to pay attention to his lovers banter. “Si la belleza fuera delito, yo te hubiera dado cadena perpetua.” _If beauty was a crime you would deserve life in prison._

“I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.” Jace shot back, giving his lover a challenging look.

“Aww, Jace~” Magnus cooed, placing a hand to his heart. “That’s so sweet~ If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.”

“Red isn’t really your color.” The blonde remarked.

The Warlock paused, wrinkling his nose. “True.”

“So then, that line was false and therefore, does not count.” Jace deducted.

“Why, Jace.” Magnus mock gasped. “If you wanted me to hit on you all you had to do was wiggle that cute little ass of yours.”

Golden eyes rolled. “Go choke.”

“Mmm I will,” The Warlock purred. “On _you_.”

Jace let out a surprised laugh, grinning widely. “Such a slut.” He teased. “I think I could fall madly in bed with you.”

Magnus laughed, hiding his grin in Alec’s neck. “Oh geez Jace,” He snickered. “That was horrible!”

The blonde shrugged, chuckling softly. “I do try, Sparkles.”

They continued on like that until they were both practically crying from laughter, finally rousing Alec from his book to stare at them in confusion.

“What did I miss?”

The two males shared a look. “Oh nothing, love.” Magnus purred, ruffling his lover’s hair. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

And that was that.

* * *

“Hey, guys?” Alec questioned, staring weirdly at the mirror. “Do I have to wear this? I look... strange.”

“I think you mean hot.” Magnus interjected, moving to stand behind his lover, placing his hands on the Shadowhunter’s hips. “In fact...” He drawled, nuzzling Alec’s neck. “Can I call you biscuit? Because I find you irresistible.”

Alec frowned. “I don’t care. You already call me a multitude of names, what’s one more added to the list?”

Jace laughed at the put out look on Magnus’ face, wrapping his arms around the taller Shadowhunter from the front and smirking at the Warlock. “If you want him to get it you’re gonna have to make it clearer. Like this,” He advised, placing his mouth by Alec’s ear, tracing his fingers up under his lover’s shirt. “Do you have a shovel? Cause I’m diggin’ that ass!”

Alec blinked, eyes widening before he flushed darkly, squirming out of his lovers grip. “Jace!” He whined in embarrassment, ducking his head.

“Yessss~?” Jace purred, smirking widely as he sent a superior look towards the Warlock.

“Don’t say things like that!”

“Oh but its so much fun to watch you squirm.” The blonde answered, tugging the other Shadowhunter towards the portal Magnus had created as Alec sputtered. “Told you he’d get it.” He called to the Warlock.

“Yes well, I was going for something more subtle.” Magnus huffed, eyes narrowing at the blonde.

Jace grinned. “Subtle doesn’t work with Alec.”

“Yes I know.”

“I am right here you know!” Alec interjected, scowling at his lovers.

Magnus smiled slightly, ruffling the blue eyed male’s hair as Jace smirked, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Oh we know.” The Warlock purred before they disappeared into the portal, Alec’s disapproval vanishing into the circular path.

* * *

“Sorry but you owe me a drink.”

“What?” Alec blinked in confusion. “Why?”

“Because when I saw you I dropped mine.”

“Magnus,” The Shadowhunter huffed in frustration. “You’re not even holding a drink, we just got here-”

“Are you a parking ticket?” Jace interjected, eyes dancing in amusement. “Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.”

“Technically that doesn’t make any-”

“There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.” Magnus purred, flicking his tongue out along Alec’s jaw as he slid a hand into his back pocket, tugging the Shadowhunter closer.

The smaller male blushed wildly. “Th-thank you-”

“You look beautiful today,” Jace murmured, twining his fingers with the other male’s. “Just like you do everyday.”

“Guys, really-” Alec tried, beyond flustered as they made their way through the crowd of people, blue eyes avoiding the curious gazes directed at the threesome.

“There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off of you.”

“Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.”

“I thought happiness started with a H. Why does mine start with U?”

“Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”

“I was wondering if you had an extra heart, mine seems to have been stolen.”

“No wonder the sky is gray today, all the blue is in your eyes.”

“When I look-”

“Enough!” Alec burst out, face a bright red as whirled on the two male’s, pointing accusingly at them. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do but stop. it.”

Magnus blinked innocently. “But Alec, darling, we’re just showering you in affection.”

“Then do it another way!” He exclaimed, flailing slightly. “A way that doesn’t involve you randomly saying bad pickup lines in order to embarrass me.”

“I’ll have you know that those ‘bad pickup lines’ were one hundred percent true.” The Warlock huffed, tugging lightly on Alec’s hair.

“And you didn’t even say any back.” Jace sighed, flashing his parabatai a mock saddened look. “Do you not think we’re worthy of cheesy pickup lines?”

Blue eyes stared at them for a moment before flashing with determination.

“Why don’t we play house? You can be the door and I’ll slam you.” He left the two male’s blinking after him, still computing the nearly hysterically serious look on Alec’s face moments before with the words he’d just said.  
“What-” Magnus started.

“Where is…?” Jace questioned.

The Shadowhunter glanced back at them, raising an eyebrow. “Well? Is that a no?”

It took only moments for the pair to scramble after him, smirks stretching their lips upwards.  
What an interesting turn of events.


End file.
